Broken Glass
by reminiscent-afterthought
Summary: You can't just take broken pieces and stick them together. They will never stick for one, and that attempt could just break them further. Especially if they fall apart again.
1. Fragment 1

Author's Notes

This is actually a collection of fragments, not an actual story. Together, they do map out a story, but it's not from beginning to end-actually, that's a bad way of phrasing it. More like it's in discrete blocks rather than a continuous stream which you're probably used to. Somewhat similar to my story Regrowth, only it isn't quite as amusing.

Enjoy, and tell me what you think.

* * *

><p><span>Broken Glass<span>

You can't just take broken pieces and stick them together. They will never stick for one, and that attempt could just break them further. Especially if they fall apart again.

Kouji M & Kouichi K

* * *

><p><span>Fragment 1<span>

Kouji looked at his brother, reading from his text. He did that a lot, reading newspapers, school textbooks and any appropriate book in the library he would get his hands on.

It wasn't anything new. He always read a lot, but he would always put it aside in favour to talk to his brother and friends, and listen to them. He read a lot more often now.

There had been a lot to talk about at first. The first eleven years of their life which had been spent apart or lost in a haze of developing memory. There were truths to bring out into the open, gaps to fill and lies to expose. But as the exhilarating euphoria faded as normalcy returned and they began to carry on with their normal lives, they both found that it wasn't so easy to merge the two worlds together as it was for others.

Perhaps because others didn't have the family issue they had. Perhaps because they didn't share the infallible connection between life and dark. Or perhaps they weren't twins with a Siamese soul that had already been once forced to live apart and almost, in consequence, brought the destruction of both. It didn't matter which. There situation was different than anyone could ever understand.

Now, years after their adventures in the Digital World, they were starting to drift apart. It was an inevitable process; the real world always swung away the fruits it bore. But even while they were brothers, twins, the real world beckoned too them too, and they could not refuse. It was impossible to stay together constantly. Different interests. Different homes. Different communities outside each other and their immediate friends.

He knew he should accept that. But he couldn't. He looked at his brother again, reading away the sunshine. He was content the way he was. Why could _he_ be too? Why was it that it wasn't enough for his company to simply be there?

But it wasn't. It wasn't enough. Perhaps they shouldn't have been separated. But they had. And he, he could not allow himself to be separated another time. Even if it was impossible.

'Ni-san-' he began, before cutting himself off.

Kouichi looked at him. 'Hai Kouji?'

Once a time, he used to smile when he said that. Now it was just a neutral expression.

He was there. It wasn't enough, because it had already been torn once. But it would have to be.

'When are you leaving?'

The other looked up at the sun. 'Not for awhile.'

Good. Let that while never come. But it would; he knew that. They couldn't forever be together.


	2. Fragment 2

Broken Glass

You can't just take broken pieces and stick them together. They will never stick for one, and that attempt could just break them further. Especially if they fall apart again.

Kouji M & Kouichi K

* * *

><p><span>Fragment 2<span>

They were sitting on the bench together. There was nothing unusual about that; couples, friends and even workmates or peers sat together on that bench when the weather was as warm and inviting as it was then. They were the latter group, working on a project together.

The girl frowned, looking at the papers in her hand. 'This is going to take forever,' she whined. 'Between us, we've got enough material for a ten hour talk, not ten minutes.'

Kouichi laughed at the blatant exaggeration. 'We'll cut it down,' he assured. 'No doubt we've got the same thing down in places too.'

'That's true,' his partner agreed, grabbing his pages. 'Let's cross-reference.'

They sat in silence for about fifteen minutes after that, reading and marking things, before both set down the pages with a sigh of relief.

'Okay…' They compared notes after that, going through each repetition and each set of similar points, greatly reducing the material within the hour.

'Are you okay?' the girl asked him, putting down her notes and looking into the other's face.

'Huh?' He blinked, then nodded. 'Sure, I'm fine.' He looked back at the paper. 'Let's start writing this. No doubt we'll be able to cut it down further once we've actually got it into our own words.'

'That's true,' the other mused, fishing around for a fresh piece of paper, before noting the somewhat distant look in the other's eyes. 'Is there somewhere you need to be?'

Kouichi shook his head. 'No, I don't think so.'

He didn't really know for sure though. It felt as though a part of him was still asleep and dreaming somewhere, or something of the sort. Part of him felt like it was being dragged elsewhere, but right now, something else was commanding his concentration. Mostly.


	3. Fragment 3

Author's Notes

Simon thinks I should have told you this before, but he didn't say so. Now he did. I got the idea while studying the book we covered in Modern and Contemporary Literature this week: The God of Small Things...well, excluding the end. A little to explicit for my liking, but it began with a pair of dizygotic Siamese twins, one quiet and contemplative and one angryish. Reminded me from the twins in Frontier. So...yeah. There's the idea.

Enjoy, and tell me what you think.

* * *

><p><span>Broken Glass<span>

You can't just take broken pieces and stick them together. They will never stick for one, and that attempt could just break them further. Especially if they fall apart again.

Kouji M & Kouichi K

* * *

><p><span>Fragment 3<span>

The twins were eating lunch together. They always preferred to eat on their own, but lately, there was something even more peaceful about it. Both felt rather odd when not doing so. Kouichi stretched, thinned…empty. Kouji feelings were somewhat opposing.

Someone came up to the pair. Being both quite handsome teens, they attracted a large portion of the female population. Being together all the time though, it made it rather difficult for someone to approach, between the two levels of silence they shared between them. To the outlooker, it would seem they were both content with only each other, and perhaps that had been true for awhile, but both of them were struggling outside that for the glue that could still the spirit they shared back together. Even the Digital World had failed to do that. There was something missing in the balance between them.

The girl looked at both of them, then specifically at the older, more approachable twin. Whether her intentions were academic or romantically spurred was anyone's guess, but the question she asked was mostly academic, so most would have given her the benefit of the doubt.

'Kimura-kun,' she began, a little nervously. 'Have you seen the lists for literature?'

The addressed shook his head, while the other's face twisted almost involuntarily into a somewhat scowl. The girl apparently noticed, because she backed away slightly. 'Ithoughtyou'dliketoknowwe'vebeenpartneredtogether,' she said in one breath, the elder twin not catching a single word and shooting away before he could ask for a repetition.

Kouichi looked bewildered, looking at his brother. 'Kouji?'

He shook his head. 'She said she thought you'd like to know you're working with her.' He scowled after the retreating form.

Kouichi looked after her as well, before averting his gaze to his brother again. 'Kouji, you barely know her. What do you have against her?'

_Because she gets to spend time with you that I can't_, was the reply, but he didn't say that out loud.

The bell went at that moment, cutting even that time short.

Neither of them wanted to move. Even if they had barely exchanged three phrases the entire break. It wasn't the best, but it was better, having to broken pieces in close proximity than alone.


	4. Fragment 4

Broken Glass

You can't just take broken pieces and stick them together. They will never stick for one, and that attempt could just break them further. Especially if they fall apart again.

Kouji M & Kouichi K

* * *

><p><span>Fragment 4<span>

Staring at the phone wasn't going to make it ring. He knew that. But that didn't stop him from staring at it. They would call each other on alternating days. That day was Kouji's turn, but an hour had passed and he had not done so. If it was anyone else, he would have assumed he had forgotten, but it was Kouji, and whatever things he forgot, this was not one of them.

Most likely he had gotten into trouble again. His brother had always been the one quicker to anger, but interestingly he would also be the less volatile twin. That showed in the Digital World; he wasn't the one who lost his mind and tried to kill his brother and half a world. Some people could even go as so far to describe him as indifferent, but if they did that, they would have gotten the two the wrong way around.

It seemed almost counter intuitive, but _he_ was really the indifferent one. After all, he was the one who took the constantly changing and dynamic world making them unable to truly perfect the pieces of their own, inner world. His brother was the one trying to fight against it. It showed; he rarely got into trouble, but that wasn't necessarily a good thing. Who knew where his mind drifted off to, unless there was someone to call it back to earth.

Like the phone ringing. He snatched it off the receiver before it could ring a third time.

'Kouji.' It was a statement, not a question, and they both knew that.

A slight pause, then:

'I'm sorry.'

Sorry he had to wait that little while longer.

'What was it?'

The sound of the other scowling preceded the short answer. 'Detention.'

He may be socially awkward, but he was also very firm in his ideals. That separated him, made him stand out. Unlike _him_, who drifted somewhat like a bubble in the world's sea. For the most part, he went along with the tide, but in the instance where he had his own conflicting view, it generally resulted in stewing silently in the shadows. Only once had his view stood apart, and made a difference. And that was in the Digital World. And in the shadows, they mixed together into a mould from which very little could be extracted. The tap to stem them forth was broken beyond repair. Perhaps in the other it was the tap's ability to turn the other way.

Once, they had tried to make each other understand, but separated and different, it became impossible to reachieve that level of unity that they had shared from the womb. They were as close as others could wish, both on the surface and within, but the net in which they both lay nested both kept them from falling apart and from getting closer.

It didn't matter though, or so they both thought. So long as that connection was there. But that wasn't nearly good enough. For a time, it had sufficed, but no longer.

'Can you come over?'

'Sure.'

They both hung up then. End of conversation.

But both were wrong.


	5. Fragment 5

Broken Glass

You can't just take broken pieces and stick them together. They will never stick for one, and that attempt could just break them further. Especially if they fall apart again.

Kouji M & Kouichi K

* * *

><p><span>Fragment 5<span>

'No!' He exploded. 'We _can't_ move again!'

There was an ugly monster rearing desperately. His vision was swimming, not from exhaustion or pain or anguish, but pure, hot white anger. He couldn't. _They_ couldn't. After everything it had taken, they couldn't move halfway across the country, from where it would be impossible to see each other regularly.

Kousei sighed heavily. 'It's either that or I get fired, and at my age, it's near impossible finding another job, especially with the current economy.' That was true. Because of the Global Financial crisis, both international and national economies had suffered, along with job availability. More people were without a job, and even more were getting forced out, especially those reaching the age where few wanted to train them up for another. Leaving a well paying and stable sort of job at a time like that was unmanageable.

Kouji knew that well. But he also knew he couldn't leave his brother. He _couldn't_. After being with each other almost every day, to the point where that presence had become a necessity as much as it was a desire. Always, they'd be pushed together, whether that be by blood, guilt, expectation or want, but now, with a physical barrier trying to wedge its way in.

'Kouji.' Kousei closed his eyes. 'You don't have a choice.'

'Then take Kouichi too!' the other exploded. 'I won't leave him.' It wouldn't matter so much. His brother would agree, no matter how he felt. He was by no means a pushover, but he rarely hammered his own nail home. Torn be it as it may, it would be better still to share the custody; they could visit on holidays, than rip them apart again. It wouldn't be practical for both of them to stay with their mother; she couldn't support them.

'Even if Tomoko would agree to that, I couldn't. It wouldn't be fair.' His eyes narrowed somewhat in sadness at the situation, his son glaring angrily still. He had never been the best at covering his emotion, instead wielding it into an icy weapon…or he had. The sharpness was crumbling, melding with the softer but no less dangerous water that smoothed its edges and soddened the sponge. 'We agreed we would only take full custody of the both of you if one died. We thought it was…better that way.'

Perhaps it would have been, if they had never met. Not like this though. With a cry like a caged wolf, he tore past his father and out of the house. There was only one destination in mind, but he knew it was futile. His brother would still be at school. But still, he stood in front of the apartment door until the choking anger gave way to a more dulling pain, and his father dragged him back home.

Inside though, the cauldron was still stewing. Not just anger, but that was the easiest for him to exhibit. To push against the walls that held him fast. His brother may be able to deal with that imprisonment, as he always did, being quiet, contemplative, observant but passive, but he couldn't. Darkness could be content to spread itself amongst what nooks and cracks it could find, but the light _must_ shine. That was its very nature.

But at the same time, light and darkness were intrinsically tied. Sharing a spirit that had already been ripped apart and put back together, could it take being torn asunder a second time? Would it survive the distance? Or would that long distance relationship, like everything else, fail?

Logically, it had to be the other. Life only flowed in a single direction. And theirs was flowing away from their control. Towards their united fear, the very first thing they had shared with each other. Towards nothing.


	6. Fragment 6

Author's Notes

I've used this quote before, is Brother, Hear me Cry. "Earth to earth, ashes to ashes, dust to dust, in sure and certain hope of the resurrection." And "In the sweat of thy face shalt thou eat bread, till thou return unto the ground; for out of it wast thou taken: for dust thou art, and unto dust shalt thou return." They're from The English Burial Services, adapted from Biblical text. I actually found them in one of the Three Investigator Mysteries.

Two more left.

Enjoy, and tell me what you think.

* * *

><p><span>Broken Glass<span>

You can't just take broken pieces and stick them together. They will never stick for one, and that attempt could just break them further. Especially if they fall apart again.

Kouji M & Kouichi K

* * *

><p><span>Fragment 6<span>

It had only been a few days, but it felt like it had been a lifetime. Part of him could still feel his brother's presence beside him, as it had been for the past age; a pillar of himself that had been lost and then largely regained. An integral part of himself that stood steadfast against the raging floods of the world as a dam breaker as the rest swam in the muddy waters. Without that, he suddenly felt so…lost. Hollow. Emptied out.

The hollow feeling wasn't exactly new, but it was certainly more pronounced now. Perhaps they should never have been separated. Then his brother wouldn't be so…almost feral in his cage. And he wouldn't be so passive and perpetually silent to the outside of it.

Hmm…passionate and indifferent. Wasn't that how the Royal Knights had introduced themselves?

They had tried to keep in contact. Really, they had. But the phone calls had been filled with long, awkward pauses, and the letters had been artificially blank. It had been hopeless. The distance tore them both apart.

Alone, he sat silently, eyes haunting the nooks and crevices of his room. Halfway across the country, but it might have been halfway across the world for all they could reach each other, his brother restlessly paced. One sat still, looking for the light to lead him down his path. The other paced with no direction, surrounded by paths and looking for the darkness that would dim all except one. Too much, too little, torn unequally, uncompleted even if they did somehow manage to combine both together. Silence grew. The restless wild grew too. In conjunction, proportional to each other. Growing, the leash stretching out. How much longer before it snapped, he wondered? Not long.

It would have seemed narcissistic, masochistic, him waiting as he was. Was it really though?

He missed that drive. That restlessness. And he knew it was a burden to the other as much as the veil that cloaked him was to him. Unequal proportions. The scale had tipped so far. No doubt it would soon cross over.

And yet he didn't try to stop it. He didn't want to. He didn't want it to end. He wanted it to begin.

And halfway across the country, the other half wished the opposite. He wanted it to end.

One thousand miles stood between them. That, and the missing, warped and unbalanced pieces of a soul of two.

He closed his eyes, letting his mind wonder the distance. They'd meet at the halfway point. The scale had tipped one way, before straightening. Now, it had toppled the other.

There would be a balance after that. Fire, which would cast the last remnants together.

Earth to earth, ashes to ashes, dust to dust, in sure and certain hope of the resurrection. In the sweat of thy face shalt thou eat bread, till thou return unto the ground; for out of it wast thou taken: for dust thou art, and unto dust shalt thou return.


	7. Fragment 7

Broken Glass

You can't just take broken pieces and stick them together. They will never stick for one, and that attempt could just break them further. Especially if they fall apart again.

Kouji M & Kouichi K

* * *

><p><span>Fragment 8<span>

He could feel his brother's presence behind him. Theoretically, that should have surprised him. His brother was, after all, supposed to be halfway across the country. But it didn't. Very little mattered enough to surprise him anymore. And out of the few things that did, he knew his brother, perhaps not the best, but well enough, to know he could never stay behind the cage rising around him. Unlike him who had just curled in a pitiful corner to die.

Once a time, it would have brought a wry smile to his face. It would have made his brother laugh and scold him in turn. Now, all he did was turn at the beginning of the end, and his brother's weight fell upon him like an animal ready to devour the stench of dead flesh…or perhaps it was the other way around. It didn't really matter.

The grip on him was tight. Desperate. Him, he just lay within it without a fight, even as that fed the raging, unruly fire lashing out from the bonds. One outward burst. One inwardly collapsed. One pair of eyes that had tried once to shut out the world and now spilled into it. One pair of eyes that had once contemplated the world with ideologies that made little sense to others in his quiet way and now lay apart from it…forever.

There was the sound of glass breaking behind them. No doubt one of them had knocked the glassware to the floor. The glass dug into his back. The weight dragged them further down. But it didn't matter. What were those little scratches after all? Their source was crumbling to a dust so fine, it could never be put together, no matter what sort of glue was used.

He felt his brother shake him. 'Dammit, aren't you even going to fight! You never fight!'

That was true enough; there was no reason to. He couldn't anyway, even if he wanted. All the fight had been dragged out of him. An imbalance of power.

He knew it would bother his brother. Perhaps there was one major divider. Seeing, being death for that instant had made him somewhat…indifferent to those other matters. To be on the other side of the equation was another thing entirely. The equilibrium had eventually knocked them both different ways, and here, united but never as far apart as this, even when their swords had clashed and crossed in the Digital World.

'Don't you care?'

He didn't answer, even as the other dragged him up. The eyes were wild, needy. But he couldn't give him what he needed. They just met a depressed view, that met the fire raging out of control.

Words turned to stone, coal fuelling a fire raging far and wild. No darkness cloaked it; it couldn't. It _was _the fire, the darkness buried within the light that raged, further in as the light revelled outward against the bars of its cage.

He wondered briefly what had set it off. But it didn't matter really. If it wasn't one thing, it would be the other.

He cried out automatically when the grip tightened beyond what even he could ignore, then closed his eyes. Part of him suddenly felt sad, sad that the world would end that way, torn apart and crumbling. But part of him felt relieved at the same time. There would finally be a beginning after the end that had passed long ago. Darkness bred darkness. Light fell to it. Darkness faded, giving way to a new light, not the one it had existed hand in hand with. The cycle continued. Things only went one way. It was impossible to return the once past to its original state. The pure born soul they had shared before it had been torn apart.

The hands fell away suddenly, and he opened his eyes again.

'Why did you stop?'

'Why didn't you stop me?' The voice sounded angry still, but of a different sort. Restrained, chained…horrified.

Barriers, always the barriers. So many places it could have gone. All morally wrong. All evil. But at that stage, it mattered little, if at all.

The other didn't move. There was no need to.

'I could kill you like this.'

'You already have.'

Neither reacted to the statement. They both understood.

'I want it to end.'

'I want it to begin.'

He shook his head, clutching it and backing away, but the other, older twin threw himself off the ground and brought them back down again.

He screamed once. Loud, anguish, echoing in the otherwise empty apartment. Cold, freezing biting…but then warmth descended upon them, cutting it off.

Almost in a fever, the other struggled one last time, but the dead weight failed to let him go.


	8. Fragment 8

Author's Notes

Interesting ending ne? I like it, rather ambiguous, but it doesn't matter either way.

Nonsensical, but it has its own sense to it. Or so I think in any case. Certainly not my best piece of work though. I think I liked Behind My Reflection better as far as driving Kouji crazy goes.

Enjoy anyway, and tell me what you think.

* * *

><p><span>Broken Glass<span>

You can't just take broken pieces and stick them together. They will never stick for one, and that attempt could just break them further. Especially if they fall apart again.

Kouji M & Kouichi K

* * *

><p><span>Fragment 9<span>

'I hate this fence,' Kouji muttered, punching it with his fist and ignoring the ensuring pain. Most of him wanted to tear it apart, but the little rationality that persisted, balanced by his brother's presence, still hovering behind him like his own shadow, balanced that. He would never be able to tear it apart. It would tear him first. And who knew what could happen. It had already devoured him once. Both of them. He had nearly killed. _He_ had nearly let.

'Climb over it,' his brother said quietly, standing like the shadow he was. 'Why stay in the cage?'

There was a pause, almost a shock at what had just been suggested.

Kouji clutched at the fences. 'It's not that simple.'

His brother came too near for comfort, yet not near enough. 'Yes it is.'

'No it isn't. You…you don't understand!' He burst out suddenly, whipping around to face the other, looking at the red marks fading from his neck. He had barely felt them. Not once had he lifted a finger to feel the pain.

'Yes I do,' the other said, quietly, monotonously. 'I've felt it too, remember?'

He remembered. Duskmon. How could he had ever forgotten? How his presence had literally ripped his twin's mind apart.

His strength suddenly ebbed away. The flame faded.

'We've torn each other apart, is that it?' It was said with such bitterness that it _could_ be nothing but the truth.

'Maybe it was hopeless all along to try and put it together.'

'You've given up.'

Mirthless laughter. 'I'd given up a long time ago.'

They both looked at the fence.

'In the end, the pieces come together. Ashes to ashes, dust to dust.'

He looked at his brother again.

'I'm not sorry.'

'Neither am I.'

Silence, save the wind's sad melody blowing.

'Were you scared?'

'Yes.'

Then he was up, swinging himself onto the rail and offering a hand down. For a moment, he saw the setting sun illuminate him in its glow, washing out the dark image till there was only the light at the end of the tunnel beckoning.

He grasped the hand.

He felt empty somehow relieved. Perhaps it really was the end. And the beginning. Blue turned red. Then black.

Fire sparked, then died. That angry snarling beast. The slumbering one. Neither should they had been. Perhaps once they could have run free in ignorance, but their fates had been tied to each other, and separated, broken, brought together then torn apart, the Siamese soul they had shared had been ripped to shreds.

Time froze. That was it. The balance had tipped so far. How far exactly? Was it enough to bring them in a full circle…or not?

For a moment, they both tethered at the top of the world.


End file.
